Screaming in Paris eBook Brian Lageose
Download As PDF : Screaming in Paris eBook Brian Lageose 
“Once upon a time, an extremely dysfunctional family decided that it would be a splendid idea to take a trip to Paris. In past adventures, this family had been unsuccessful in simply visiting their local grocery store without potential incarceration, so the prospect of descending upon another country should have sounded alarm bells. It did not. The family happily made reservations and purchased tickets and packed suitcases. And then they headed for the airport.”
Thus begins the eye-opening tale of what can happen when a group of relatively-decent people is dropped into a foreign land, under the supervision of a somewhat-neurotic leader who would much rather be doing anything else other than leading. It’s fair to say that neither the family nor the country of France was prepared for this expedition. Harsh words have since been spoken, and certain legal restrictions are now in place to hopefully prevent the particular chain of events that led to this family nearly losing their collective minds in the City of Love from ever happening again.
Despite the litigation and the finger-pointing, the family, overall, had a smashing time during their Sojourn on the Seine, and they fervently hope that other families and adventurous friends and domestic partners take advantage of France-focused travel opportunities. Still, there are certain things that potential participants in the Parisian Parade should know, if only to prevent that startling moment when your own family turns against you and hurls your annoying ass off the top of the Eiffel Tower.
In the interests of providing the right cautionary notes to the unknowing public, the family turned to the one person who had reminded them daily during their week in Paris that performance expectations were not being met Beaumont, the anxiety-riddled tour guide during their Week of Infamy in a Land That Was Not Their Own. “Tell the people what they must know about how to behave properly in a country where you don’t understand the language!” they exclaimed, waving lit torches they had found on an abandoned set from Survivor Loire Valley.
Actually, no one exclaimed or waved anything, yet Beaumont presumed that they did, because he has unresolved issues. He was quite enthralled by the opportunity to put pen to paper and vent about how his family nearly destroyed his sanity in the span of seven days.
And this is his story…
Screaming in Paris eBook Brian Lageose
“Once upon a time, an extremely dysfunctional family decided that it would be a splendid idea to take a trip to Paris. In past adventures, this family has been unsuccessful in simply visiting their local grocery store without potential incarceration, so the prospect of descending upon another country should have sounded alarm bells. It did not."So begins this book about international travel with a particularly dysfunctional entourage consisting of eight related or nearly-related people: Brian’s mother and two sisters; one brother-in-law; one close friend; and Brian's partner and said partner’s sister. Five women.Three men. And to add just a bit to the scale-of-difficulty, one of his sisters is confined to wheelchair. “Unwieldy” seems a bit of an understatement. Furthermore, because this is his actual family, and to keep lawsuits and restraining orders to a minimum, he gave them all French pseudonyms. Yeah, it’s that kind of tell-all.
First you need to know that Brian blogs over at Bonnywood Manor and that he was put in charge of this tour because he’d been to Paris before and spoke a little high school French. He could also read a map and tell time. What’s that old adage? "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." Brian took the job seriously, perhaps a little too seriously. Whether he liked it or not (many times not) the gang looked to him for guidance. Or a decision. So, he’s the one looking at maps and schedules while trying to keep folks safe, together, and moving along.
Brian puts readers into each uncomfortable situation with great skill. He crowds us into to cramped restaurants and cajoles us into eating unfamiliar foods. Intestines? Sure. Why not?! He gives us an up close and personal view of the sights (and smells!) of our fellow humans. We get quite drunk.
Of course, the challenges created the opportunities for humor: An evil concierge who gives them inaccurate directions resulting in an epic journey through much of France in a rented van as they set off to visit a castle in a nearby city. Certain people (you know who you are, Tatum) dawdling and pawing through every souvenir shop. Walking. Standing outside numerous restaurants trying to get eight people to agree on where to eat. Riding the crowded Metro with unfamiliar crotches and backsides pressed against faces and other crotches. Walking uphill. Making transfers on the Metro. Dawdling. Walking. Waiting in line for tours of churches. Walking. Dawdling. Climbing the Eiffel Tower with not one, but two acrophobics. And did I mention the walking and dawdling?
Two things thing they could always agree on were the hotel's divine breakfast buffet and drinking beer on the hotel's patio. Food and drink are consistent themes, with inherent humorous or embarrassing side effects. And hey, as bad as it gets, guess what? They're still in Paris!
Brian’s genuine love and affection for his family shines through the humor, though. In spite of his rants, he writes...
“It had been a hell of a week, being responsible for getting these people everywhere they needed to be, and making sure that nobody got lost or was arrested or ate things they shouldn’t.”
In conclusion, if you like your travelogues funny, with dose of sarcasm and snark (think David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day or J. Maarten Troost’s The Sex Lives of Cannibals) you might enjoy this little tome as well. Or perhaps you’re planning a trip to Paris. Or maybe you simply want to affirm your belief that all families are just a little crazy. In that case, spending a vicarious week in Paris with Brian's family will show you just how right you are. As a bonus, you'll probably come away grateful for your own family's special brand of crazy.
While he does go on (and on), the only thing that truly bothered me was the lack of photographic evidence.
Brian also reminded me that in the most aggravating and embarrassing of situations, with the most aggravating and embarrassing of people--one's own family--it’s best not to follow our own possibly criminal instincts. We should take a breath and see the humor. And if we're going to write about them, for godsake, change their names.
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Screaming in Paris eBook Brian Lageose Reviews
Comical, frustrating, endearing, annoying, confusing, profound, profane, compassionate, facing fears, creating fears, alcohol therapy, creative driving and parking techniques, mastering local mass transit, and in spite of everything, finding a way for all to agree it was a spectacular adventure and worth doing again - possibly including glitchy zip lines in the tropical jungle. Who knows where they'll end up next? Looking forward to finding out. And always pack lip gloss.
If you would like to glimpse Paris in a most humorous way, Screaming In Paris will take you there. Not only will you see Paris the way that a lot of visitors see it, in wonder at the inspiring architecture, the vast monuments throughout the city, and the throngs of people making their way through the twisting and turning streets, you may decide that there really is no better way to experience the City of Love, than with a terrific sense of humor. After all, if one gets lost looking for a Chateau in the foreign French countryside, a sense of humor may be the only thing that gets one through, oui?
I don't really like blogs turned book; they tend to be disjointed and they don't really push you ahead to read. I don't find them very enrapturing, but this doesn't mean that others won't really like it. This book is about a modern family, 2 guys, 2 sisters and an elderly mom going to Paris. The guys are travel savvy, and the women are not. You can see why the author is screaming in Paris.
This is how I'll review this book if you're the type of person who'd like to vacation with the Griswolds and all their antics then so be it!
Otherwise it's the same old retorts and "jokes" ad nauseam ! The story is a "re-hash" of the Griswolds ! If you definitely like this kind of humor you'll have plenty of it in this book!
I discovered Mr. Lageose a few years ago through his backup dancers from hell blog (if you're an 80s or90s music fan you'll love it, seriously - Google it) and decided since i love his style of writing i could spring for a whopping $2.99 for his book. I am very glad i did as i have spent the last few evenings giggling at the inanity of a crazy family let loose in Paris. His writing style is awesome, its like having the sarcastic, witty storyteller that he is right in the room with you - i could easily imagine his pain and him sighing and rolling his eyes as i was reading! There are some typos (pet peeve of mine, i mean come on people don't the publishers and editor look over anything anymore?) but overall it was a very enjoyable read!
This book is every dysfunctional family's hysterical nightmare....don't pass this up !
Warning you will need a change of underwear at least every other chapter, you'll be laughing so much.
Brian brings his loopy family to life on the page...and entertains us as much or more with the peripheral
characters they encounter on this travel diary to Paris, France.
I repeat you will love this book !
The cover is fantastic! During the first few chapters, I almost stopped reading. I am very glad I didn't! This is laugh out loud comedy. It immediately made me think back of all the things that ALWAYS happen to my family whenever we go out of the country. (Terrible things) I can relate! From being lost in the southern jungles of Mexico, Bahamas, to Jamaica. what a fun & crazy group. What I especially loved about this book is that the author painted a very clear profile of each character. Only one that I didn't like (neither did he). Don't stop at chapter 3 or 4- keep reading- it just keeps getting better.
“Once upon a time, an extremely dysfunctional family decided that it would be a splendid idea to take a trip to Paris. In past adventures, this family has been unsuccessful in simply visiting their local grocery store without potential incarceration, so the prospect of descending upon another country should have sounded alarm bells. It did not."
So begins this book about international travel with a particularly dysfunctional entourage consisting of eight related or nearly-related people Brian’s mother and two sisters; one brother-in-law; one close friend; and Brian's partner and said partner’s sister. Five women.Three men. And to add just a bit to the scale-of-difficulty, one of his sisters is confined to wheelchair. “Unwieldy” seems a bit of an understatement. Furthermore, because this is his actual family, and to keep lawsuits and restraining orders to a minimum, he gave them all French pseudonyms. Yeah, it’s that kind of tell-all.
First you need to know that Brian blogs over at Bonnywood Manor and that he was put in charge of this tour because he’d been to Paris before and spoke a little high school French. He could also read a map and tell time. What’s that old adage? "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." Brian took the job seriously, perhaps a little too seriously. Whether he liked it or not (many times not) the gang looked to him for guidance. Or a decision. So, he’s the one looking at maps and schedules while trying to keep folks safe, together, and moving along.
Brian puts readers into each uncomfortable situation with great skill. He crowds us into to cramped restaurants and cajoles us into eating unfamiliar foods. Intestines? Sure. Why not?! He gives us an up close and personal view of the sights (and smells!) of our fellow humans. We get quite drunk.
Of course, the challenges created the opportunities for humor An evil concierge who gives them inaccurate directions resulting in an epic journey through much of France in a rented van as they set off to visit a castle in a nearby city. Certain people (you know who you are, Tatum) dawdling and pawing through every souvenir shop. Walking. Standing outside numerous restaurants trying to get eight people to agree on where to eat. Riding the crowded Metro with unfamiliar crotches and backsides pressed against faces and other crotches. Walking uphill. Making transfers on the Metro. Dawdling. Walking. Waiting in line for tours of churches. Walking. Dawdling. Climbing the Eiffel Tower with not one, but two acrophobics. And did I mention the walking and dawdling?
Two things thing they could always agree on were the hotel's divine breakfast buffet and drinking beer on the hotel's patio. Food and drink are consistent themes, with inherent humorous or embarrassing side effects. And hey, as bad as it gets, guess what? They're still in Paris!
Brian’s genuine love and affection for his family shines through the humor, though. In spite of his rants, he writes...
“It had been a hell of a week, being responsible for getting these people everywhere they needed to be, and making sure that nobody got lost or was arrested or ate things they shouldn’t.”
In conclusion, if you like your travelogues funny, with dose of sarcasm and snark (think David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day or J. Maarten Troost’s The Sex Lives of Cannibals) you might enjoy this little tome as well. Or perhaps you’re planning a trip to Paris. Or maybe you simply want to affirm your belief that all families are just a little crazy. In that case, spending a vicarious week in Paris with Brian's family will show you just how right you are. As a bonus, you'll probably come away grateful for your own family's special brand of crazy.
While he does go on (and on), the only thing that truly bothered me was the lack of photographic evidence.
Brian also reminded me that in the most aggravating and embarrassing of situations, with the most aggravating and embarrassing of people--one's own family--it’s best not to follow our own possibly criminal instincts. We should take a breath and see the humor. And if we're going to write about them, for godsake, change their names.
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